Boundaries: My Best Discovery

Hello Wild Ones  🧡 🧡 🧡,

I hope you are well and doing great. My hope is that you are taking good care of yourself and loving yourself right. I am currently full of bliss and hopes.

My therapist often told me that boundaries without consequences is like a door without a padlock. Everyone knows about it but they walk in and out the way they want. She made me learn that one boundary that I had to learn to exercise is refusing to let anyone even myself to tell me what I should feel. I feel what I feel and that’s it. This message was so freeing to me that it has become a core message that I like to preach. Feeling are valid no matter how they are. Anyway I digress we are talking about boundaries.

Before my therapy, I was a girl with no boundaries. People came into my energy the way they wanted. They walked all over my pool of joy and self love the way they wanted and I did nothing. Now when I look back there is so much heartache I could have saved myself and others if I had better boundaries and consequences. There are people I shouldn’t have been friends with for that long. Others I even had no business even giving a time of day.

Now that I have boundaries and realize that I don’t owe anyone thing, I am so happy. Before I really struggled balancing my introvert and not being able to show up for people but now I know that it’s not my job to fix anyone. I respond to messages when I have the emotional strength for them and I decide how deep I go emotionally without guilt. I know what my stories are and I never let anyone tell me otherwise (This saves me from a lot of gas-lighting) For Example: A friend recently crossed a boundary and when I called them out, they decided I was dramatic and judgmental. Pre-Therapy Jackie would have felt bad for being ‘dramatic’ and ‘judgmental’. I am different now so my friend now knows their place and that I am not afraid to enforce my boundaries even when it may cost me a friend.

Always know that boundaries are not selfish, they are self love. So are your boundaries beneficial?

Since this post barely talks a lot about boundaries and how to enforce them just it’s benefits, I will probably write more about this in the future.

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Today’s Tip

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With loooooove and peace,

Jackie

21 Comments Add yours

  1. Anaya says:

    was really helpful…..thankyou..an highlight an important subject

    1. jackie says:

      Thank you for reading. I am glad you enjoyed it.

  2. Jorinde says:

    I really needed to read this today! I was much the same growing up, ignoring my own boundaries for the sake of others. Trying to fit in wherever I could. I still fall into the trap of trying to ‘change how I feel’ from time to time. Which NEVER works. Thank you for the reminder to allow ALL feelings.

    1. jackie says:

      I am glad you could relate. Thank you for reading and commenting.

  3. Don’t let anyone hurt you.
    Nobody has the right to do so.You are the incharge…
    (Found this useful.)

    Thanks ❤️ for such awesome posts.

    1. jackie says:

      True. I am glad you liked it. Thank you for reading.

  4. Boundaries are really important. It breeds equity and respect!

    1. jackie says:

      True. Thank you for reading.

      1. You’re welcome!!!

  5. PoojaG says:

    I was like you and was a person who did not have a boundaries or rather did not know how to set proper boundaries. But over the years I have gotten better at setting boundaries and it has definitely been very beneficial. I lost one or two friends but I realised that if my boundaries bothered them that was their problem not mine.

    1. jackie says:

      True, it’s not your problem💖💖💖

  6. Shelly DS says:

    Ugh Jackie… why did you have to post this one today? I am burnt out and you are absolutely right about all the reasons why. I love the message that your therapist gave you, I have that door without a padlock and I hadn’t realised it till now… so thank you but ugh at the same time 🙂 🙁

    1. jackie says:

      💖💖 I am glad you could relate. Thank you for reading.💖💖

  7. Siphosetu says:

    Sis! I used to feel so guily after making others angry for standing up for myself! Boundaries save you from wasting your precious time!💜

    1. jackie says:

      True💖💖 Thank you for reading.

  8. judeitakali says:

    ‘No’ just doesn’t work well with my soul. My truest happiness always comes when shared with others. I have lines I don’t cross but I try to understand that my lines are mine and not everyone’s. So I advise, and then support when things don’t go well. I try not to judge nor admonish. I think it’s good to call out friends, but how we do it makes the biggest difference.

    1. jackie says:

      True how you call out someone makes the difference. My friend recently taught me the difference between calling out and calling in. Calling in is more empathetic and calling out is what you result to when calling in fails.

      1. judeitakali says:

        I’m glad you see it that way

  9. Just shan says:

    I have had my boundaries crossed after my breakdown that destroyed me for such a longtime. But I’m reinforcing them and some are being weaker and some are very beneficial..so yeah..for the few boundaries I hold dear..they’re very beneficial

    1. jackie says:

      May you always have the strength to maintain boundaries. Thank for reading.

      1. Just shan says:

        Amen
        And welcome..anytime😊

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