Hello Wild Ones 🧡 🧡 🧡,
I hope you are well and doing great. My hope is that you are taking good care of yourself and loving yourself right. I am currently full of bliss and hopes.
My therapist often told me that boundaries without consequences is like a door without a padlock. Everyone knows about it but they walk in and out the way they want. She made me learn that one boundary that I had to learn to exercise is refusing to let anyone even myself to tell me what I should feel. I feel what I feel and that’s it. This message was so freeing to me that it has become a core message that I like to preach. Feeling are valid no matter how they are. Anyway I digress we are talking about boundaries.
Before my therapy, I was a girl with no boundaries. People came into my energy the way they wanted. They walked all over my pool of joy and self love the way they wanted and I did nothing. Now when I look back there is so much heartache I could have saved myself and others if I had better boundaries and consequences. There are people I shouldn’t have been friends with for that long. Others I even had no business even giving a time of day.
Now that I have boundaries and realize that I don’t owe anyone thing, I am so happy. Before I really struggled balancing my introvert and not being able to show up for people but now I know that it’s not my job to fix anyone. I respond to messages when I have the emotional strength for them and I decide how deep I go emotionally without guilt. I know what my stories are and I never let anyone tell me otherwise (This saves me from a lot of gas-lighting) For Example: A friend recently crossed a boundary and when I called them out, they decided I was dramatic and judgmental. Pre-Therapy Jackie would have felt bad for being ‘dramatic’ and ‘judgmental’. I am different now so my friend now knows their place and that I am not afraid to enforce my boundaries even when it may cost me a friend.
Always know that boundaries are not selfish, they are self love. So are your boundaries beneficial?
Since this post barely talks a lot about boundaries and how to enforce them just it’s benefits, I will probably write more about this in the future.
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With loooooove and peace,