Dear Dad

Hello Wild Ones 🌹🌹🌹

I hope you are well and doing great things. I hope that you are loving on yourself and the awesome human being that you are. I hope you forgive yourself for the mistakes that you make and give yourself a chance to be the best human being you can be. I am currently full of smiles and joy as I write this. Awesome things are happen in my life and they keep coming.🌷🌷

I struggled to write this and also struggled even more to get the courage to post it. I struggled a lot on Father’s Day so my therapist said that I should write about it and when I am ready, share it with someone. I choose my blog…even though it’s a little too deep. This is just my truth and I think I will be a little sensitive to comments in this piece so empathy would be nice💟💟.

Dear Dad

I meant to write this on Father’s Day. I meant to write a long post about love then I realized that I could never have the sweetest story like the girl next to me who kept saying “Dad, I know how good men look like because I have met you” . I didn’t have a sweet story about us. I just had a dream of who I wish you were. On Father’s day, I was sad because I wanted to have a man celebrate and the truth is other than the fact I look like you and I have your pride and spirit of adventure; I don’t know you and I never will personally. At least not on this earth.

Dad, I was angry that you died and how you died. I know it’s unfair and some will say that it’s not your fault. Some will say it’s destiny but sometimes when I look at it, I see a man whose consequences led him there. I know you were not perfect but sometimes I wish you were just a little better just for me. I know how selfish I sound but this is my truth, dad. I just wish you realized that your life wasn’t just yours. I needed you to stay at alive because I needed a father.

Dad, I have a whole list of things I wish we could do together. Like be the typical African dad that doesn’t know how to react when told “I love you” then I would tell everyone that all you did was nod when I said it. I would call you everytime I need money and you would send instantly with no questions (My mum asks for a full financial reports with cash flow statements, balance sheets and the analysis) It would make sense when people say that girls look to marry their father. Dad, I miss you, I miss the father I wish you could have been. I have had stories of how much you loved to spend on gifts and I have replayed it in my mind over and over how awesome it would have been to always getting gifts from you. May be that’s why I love gifts so much.

Dad, may be in another world, we meet and you will be everything that I fantasize that you were and more. Dad sometimes I am angry, sometimes I just miss you, sometimes I just feel frustrated, sometimes I just want to have a father figure, but all the time I love you. I haven’t met you but I have the half of you that’s in me and it’s amazing. So rest in peace💖

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Today’s tip

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With loooove and awesomeness,

Jackie

40 Comments Add yours

  1. PURU says:

    It always breaks my heart and burst myself into tears whenever someone is saying something about their Dad’s and keep asking myself questions I don’t have answers for. Losing my Dad this year is one of the most worst things ever happened to me and every time he hit my mind I will burst into tears. 😭😭😭
    I really don’t know what to say to you right now but best believe that the universe will find a way to heal you, bring happiness and smile. I send you wisdom, love and strength. ♥️

    1. jackie says:

      Hearing other people talk baout their dads is always heartbreaking but it gets better. Thank you so much for your kind words. I hope you also find peace and healing. Sending love and light. I hope you are feeling better now btw🌻 🌻 🌻

      1. PURU says:

        Thanks to you too. It is very hard for me to bring the topic about dad’s because is something still new but I am feeling better.

        1. jackie says:

          I hope you are taking care of yourself and I wish you healing and peace.

  2. Bernie says:

    I’m so sorry u lost ur father, but u seem to be handling it very well:) This was one of the most beautiful posts I’ve ever read💕💕💕 Ü have made me realize how lucky I am to have a father and I’m very thankful to u! U seem like such an amazing person and this post was j so BEAUTFUL😍😍 I’m so sorry again for ur loss and I j wanna let u know that I am gonna praying for u and ur dad every night❤️❤️❤️

    1. jackie says:

      Thank you for this🌻 🌻 🌻

  3. PoojaG says:

    Wow I am so sorry that you lost your father. Just know that he is in a better place now.

    1. jackie says:

      🌸🌸🌸🌸

    2. jackie says:

      Thank you🌸🌸

      1. PoojaG says:

        💕

  4. Just shan says:

    I’m so sorry for your loss Jackie ..but I’m so glad you’re brave enough to put this up here..I’m happy for you and this just shows how proggressive you are..you really are a great writer and so expressive ..amazing😊
    ps: thanks for the tip

    1. jackie says:

      Thank you🌸🌸

  5. wambui says:

    ❤️❤️❤️

  6. Sharon says:

    Sorry for your loss Jackie. It doesn’t matter how much time passes when you lose someone because the gap they leave in your life never gets smaller. You just get stronger, but every once in a while it hits you again. Thank you for having the strength to post this. Wishing you all the best in both your strong and your vulnerable because both are valid beautiful emotions. Your writing is really amazing.

    1. jackie says:

      Thank you🌸🌸

  7. Silver says:

    I’m very sorry for your loss <3

    1. jackie says:

      Thank you🌸🌸🌸

  8. doriskoki says:

    Sending love your way Jackie ❣❣❣

    1. jackie says:

      Thank you🌸🌸

  9. Shelly DS says:

    Thank you for choosing to share this with us, it is really brave of you. I hope that you find your healing and are able to fill that empty space with lots of love from those around you. My mom died when I was 14 and it took over a decade to finally admit that I was angry with her for dying – especially because life got really bad when I moved in with a step mom… but I think what we need to realise is that you can’t take care of someone if you aren’t ok yourself… that applies to our parents too, be it physically or emotionally. My mom is my hero to this day despite her imperfections and despite her leaving her young children without a solid plan. <3

    1. jackie says:

      Thank you so much. You always have the right thing to say Shelly. God bless you.🌸🌸

      1. Shelly DS says:

        💖 you are just easy to relate to

  10. inaloveworld says:

    I am sorry for your loss, and happy for your courage to write this post.
    Much love to you and All!

    1. jackie says:

      Thank you💖💖💖

  11. Good read! Deeply felt.

    1. jackie says:

      Thank you💖💖

  12. I’m sorry about your dad. Writing about it is a big way to show your love and express your feelings. This was a beautiful read. ❤️❤️

    1. jackie says:

      Thank you❤️❤️

  13. Emma says:

    I do pray you find healing and I hope writing this helps to release a bunch of the pain🙇🏾‍♀️

    It was super courageous to post this and so real too 💕

    1. jackie says:

      Thank you🌸🌸

  14. judeitakali says:

    So touching and such a helpful post, I’m saving this one to read a few more times❤️

    1. jackie says:

      Thank you🌸🌸

  15. judeitakali says:

    I’m so sorry for your loss, may he rest in eternal peace

  16. He’s definitely proud of who you’re becoming.

    1. jackie says:

      Thank you

      1. You’re welcome Jackie!

  17. Joan 💙 says:

    Thank you for sharing

    1. jackie says:

      Thank you for reading

  18. I am sorry about the loss of your dad.
    Thank you for caring enough to share I know it wasn’t easy but through your courage and selfless nature may others find healing.
    Let love, healing and great peace be yours always.❤️

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