Followers Shenanigans

Hello Wild Ones💚💚💚,

I hope you are well and taking really good care of yourself. I hope you know how amazing you are and never let anyone put you down. I am currently full of hope and have a very busy schedule but I am surviving.

Today I will be talking about certain things from my experience with the friends I have made from my blog. This is solely my opinion, and I apologize if I come across anything other than appreciative of the friends I have met. But before that, I have a public service announcement special for you below🌞🌞.

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(Shortly after the commercial break) This has been an ongoing struggle for me. I have been struggling with drawing a line between creating a healthy conversation and just unhealthy back and forth, meeting expectations, making friends, etc. This struggle is what led me to write ‘This is for me.’ I have little to no issues with the engagement in the comments. The one that gives a minor headache is the engagement on my social media, my email, and even on WhatsApp. Some of the things that I have been experiencing are:

  • Space for Healthy Conversations

I pride in my ability to know that I don’t know all the facts, and I always try to learn more from all my engagements with people. What I don’t appreciate is when people decide to push their opinions as the truth. When they decide that I am wrong without creating space for a healthy discussion. There is also the idea that I am one and the same with my opinion, so you come attacking me instead of showing concern and educating about the concept. It beats the whole purpose of the conversation, which is to educate and elevate. If you can’t come with empathy and understanding of my situation with the aim to educate and elevate, then what you seek is a mere ego contest on who is right and who isn’t. This speaks to some engagements I have had on my comments and others I have had in my email that left me wondering why anyone would take so much pride in putting someone else down and the lengths they would go to do it. But I guess this is the side effect of online platforms sometimes; you forget there is a person beyond the screen.

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  • Sharing my Trauma Story

I share very intimate parts of my story on my blog because I know what it’s like to look for someone who can relate to your struggle. My heart warms up every time I get an email, Facebook message or Instagram Dm that talks about how sharing my story inspired them. Where I draw the line is when people come expecting that I am going to spill my guts out to them because they have read an intimate story about me. It is one thing to write my story on a blog and create conversations around it, but it’s a whole other story to come ‘demanding’ (I say demanding some people actually get mad) that I bring the same open energy when I talk to you on whatever platform. I had this one person even call me names just because I didn’t want to engage in a very intimate conversation with them. They wanted to ask me very personal questions, and I told them that I would answer what I was comfortable answering. Then they just blew up on me saying I was uptight. Different versions of this have happened that left me very confused. It’s my story; I decide how I tell it, and if I am comfortable telling it to you. Respect that!!

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  • Friendship

I get really flattered every time I get a message from someone asking that we become friends, but to be honest, it can get overwhelming. I am generally an introvert and a private person. When people fall in love with my blog persona and decide we should be friends, I really struggle. Because I am only used to talking to at most two people daily, and now there are all these fantastic people interested in being friends with me. My philosophy of friendship is that it takes a lot to build a friendship. You don’t propose friendship, and it becomes instant. You work towards it by knowing the person gradually and intentionally. Friendship needs a lot of trust and love. I often just feel really weird when someone asks that. I mean, we simply just grew into it after their strange request, but others I just felt really uncomfortable (Sometimes people click and sometimes they don’t). I admit I am a little biased with guys because I haven’t had the best experience with them. There’s this one guy who literally got mad at me for not wanting to go hang out with him. Like, you are a random stranger, and you feel entitled to my time just like that. I was in utter shock. (It’s the audacity for me as Majimbo would put it.)

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  • Braving the Negatives-

I got my first weird secret crush message immediately; I added Kubool into my engagement platforms. The person did some very graphic details of my body, and I remember feeling very violated, and I wanted to remove the platform. But the fact that some of the most impact I pride myself in making has come from people contacting me through Kubool, I decided to keep it. Not everyone has the time to go to their email to contact me or social media. Kubool offers an opportunity for those who are also not ready to share their identity and still want to share their story have the chance to do that. The weird crush has moved on to send emails declaring their love and desire to marry me. I have learnt to block and delete these emails every time I get them. Before, I used to engage them, but now I just delete them. I also figured it’s probably just one obsessed human being because the emails sound the same, and the email addresses always have some weird name. Maybe it’s just one silly person who thinks it is funny.

What are your weird experiences with your followers?

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Today’s Tip; Also Inspired by Meeting Grace and Self Love

Done by Holistically Grace- Instagram

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With Loooooove and Sunshine 💖🌞💖🌞,Jackie

29 Comments Add yours

  1. rosemelle says:

    You’ve been so lost.

    1. jackie says:

      I took a small break to allow myself because I was overwhelmed balancing this, school and my job but I am back now. I thought you were on a break too though.😊😊

      1. rosemelle says:

        I got back and missed updates from you 😅

        1. jackie says:

          Well, I am back now.Hopefully school and work don’t get too overwhelming.🧡🧡

  2. judeitakali says:

    This lends so much perspective, 🙏🏾

    1. jackie says:

      💝💝💝

  3. Msdedeng says:

    I been wondering where you ve’ been, replenishing? 🙂

    1. jackie says:

      I was struggling a little but I am back now.🧡🧡

      1. Msdedeng says:

        I am glad you took the time you needed to recover ..

  4. doriskoki says:

    Yessss…it’s okay to say no..I love that reminder 😊💯

    1. jackie says:

      Yaaas!!! Thank you for reading 🧡🧡

  5. Wendy says:

    I was beginning to wonder why I wasn’t seeing regular updates when I came back from my break. Welcome back.
    There are so many characters you’ll meet on the internet so I’m not even surprised with human beings again but some people are on a different level. Who demands for someone to share their trauma with a random person?

    1. jackie says:

      Thank you for the welcome.💛💛 True, the internet does have very interesting people.

  6. PoojaG says:

    Really great post and nice to see you blogging again!

    1. jackie says:

      Thank you❤❤

      1. PoojaG says:

        You’re welcome 😊

  7. Joana says:

    Oooh I hate encountering self-righteous people. That’s why when I am stuck in a conversation with them, I just let them talk and just nod 😅. I relate with you so much about building friendships, it takes a lot of effort for me personally to engage with people. Friendship for me is building trust and being comfortable around them. And, also I can’t believe someone would force you to open up to them, I can’t believe some people do that.

    1. jackie says:

      You, me both; Self-righteous people are the worst. I suspect the reason the people get mad is because the expect me to open up as I don my blog which is not justified. Thank you for reading.🧡🧡

  8. Jeff Flesch says:

    Powerful. 🙂

    1. jackie says:

      Thank you❤❤❤

  9. Absolutely incisive and intensely awakening. This is a good read; everyone must read this. I enjoy reading many of your pieces and I can never be thankful enough. No one is entitled to demand a different version of a story from the one a writer has penned. We can only critique it to educate and not to start a contest. I salute you Jackie for your resolute affirmation.

    1. jackie says:

      Thank you for saying this💛💛💛💛

  10. The part were people try to bond with you ..using trauma as a tool 😩 I felt that. Well I have been wanting to say this (an idea)but i don’t have the vibe again after reading this post,i dont want to come across to you as invasive- (buh I will say it anyway😊) I WAS THINKING ABOUT CREATING A COMMUNITY OF BLOGGERS THAT CAN HELP UPLIFT EACH OTHER , LISTEN TO EACH OTHER, GIVE ADVICE AND ALL NOTHING. I want you to be a part of it. Let’s just see it as Group of bloggers building a healthy, exciting, informative youthful environment. What do you think?.

    1. jackie says:

      ❤❤❤I am curious about this. You could email @ calmwildness@gmail.com

      1. Very good then 😊 I will email you an audio recording (I can express my self more when talking) thanks for acknowledging the idea 🔥👍

        1. jackie says:

          Cool. I can’t wait.

  11. Sorry about that Jackie. I haven’t had any negative encounter with my followers and I hope it remains that way.
    Stay strong! Cheers.

    1. jackie says:

      I hope it does. 💖💖💖Thank you for reading.

      1. You’re absolutely welcome.

I appreciate your opinion!!! Leave a comment!!