Have you checked your male privilege?

Hello Wild Ones 💎💎,

I hope you are well and doing great. I hope that today you will look in the mirror and be like’ I am awesome!!!” I hope you see the beauty of the sunshine that oozes from you. I hope you learn to see your brokenness as cracks that allow you to show the world how beautiful you are. I am currently full of grace and love for myself. I am proud of my journey.

I started writing this post a while back but I got lazy. I remember this boy that was trying to date me some time back. We had a heated conversation on the day about feminism and male privilege that made me realize that he was a chauvinist and he didn’t even know it. This is why it was so easy for him to equate rape to robbery and then dare to ask me ‘If I thought every rape victim is really blameless from the heinous act committed on them.” While still claiming to be an ally to women because he respected me, his sister, and his mother. I bet there are so many men like Mr. Never (this guy) who haven’t checked their male privilege and still refuse to see what the society gives them but doesn’t give women. So I made a small list from my experiences.

  • No one ever suggests that you got something because of your sex, the credit goes to your dedication and hard work– I was always one of the smartest people in the room. The fact that I loved to look at stars and wish that my existence was within them had me shooting for them. So when I got my scholarship at African Leadership University, I never for one moment thought it was because I was a girl until a friend suggested it. I remember feeling a wave of impostor syndrome then anger that he dared to suggest that the only reason I had been chosen from a group of around 300 applications to be part of a group of lucky 25 students was that I have a vagina and not because I was smart and a good fit. For the first time, I realized that the fear of getting raped was not the only problem I had to deal with just because I have a vagina. When you got that job or that scholarship did anyone say that it’s because of your penis?
  • Your body is not oversexualized– I recently watched a video on Instagram by Evyan Whitney where she was chanting that her nipples change from female to male so that Instagram allows her to post a topless photo. This reminded me of my relationship with my boobs and how much I hate the attention I get because of them. I hate how sexualized they have been made. I have a special hate for every guy that offered unsolicited compliments about my boobs. I can’t even wear a top with a little cleavage without getting the most disgusting comments and stares that often force me to shower just in case I can wash the filth I felt them leave on me. Do you have a body part that is oversexualized so much that you struggle to love it?
  • You can wear what you want- When I was studying at the University of Nairobi, every day as I chose an outfit, I would have to consider the part of the Nairobi CBD I would be passing through and how late I might be going home. I just didn’t want to be one of those women who are stripped naked for wearing a short skirt or refusing the advances of the matatu touts. I didn’t want to have to be asked the infamous ‘What were you wearing ?” as I try to grab at justice. I didn’t want some old man old enough to be my father whistling at me and proclaiming love. Do you ever worry that your trousers are the reasons that you will not get home safe?
  • When you fail at something, it doesn’t have the reputation of your sex all over it– This point reminds of Anne Waiguru and one bumpy ride home. Anne is the governor in my county and as her name and pronouns suggest she is a woman. Anne is yet to build the tarmac roads that she promised when she was campaigning so the ride home is always bumpy. Every time I take that road someone in the car will curse, ‘That’s what you get for putting a woman in power.’ And I squirm in my seat trying not to start a debate. Why do we not exclaim that Kenya’s economy is shit because all our presidents have been men?
  • You have a bad mood or day and that’s just it – “Is it that time of the month?” is one of the statements that often have me trying my best not to bite someone’s head off. I hate the assumption that mood swings are only the way that I experience my menstruation like my experience is not unique. I hate that they can’t even call it menstruation, it has to be that time. Does anyone suggest that your bad mood is because of your wet dreams?

There are so many male privileges that need to be checked. If you are interested, you can go to Project Humanities and learn more about male privilege. Learning about your privilege as a man is the first step to understand the problems that women face in a patriarchal society and then maybe you can become an ally to women empowerment. This is not to say that men don’t also have problems caused by this system too. Talking about the problems women face doesn’t take away the negative effects of toxic masculinity or make the pressure for men to be providers less. It just acknowledges the problems.

What point did you resonate with? If you are man, have you checked your male privilege?

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Today’s tip

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With looooove and grace,

Jackie

22 Comments Add yours

  1. This content is very insightful. The raw fact that it’s drawn from experiences makes it legitimate and even more read-worthy.

    Awesome read. Loved it. 💯

    1. jackie says:

      Thank you so much🧡🧡🧡

  2. Shan❤ says:

    All the points make total sense..actually the point out the exact facts that people are so blind to notice! This is a great eye opener and great content
    This is great and amazing!!!

    1. jackie says:

      Thank you so much, Shan. I published this with my fingers crossed because it is such a sensitive topic.

      1. Just shan says:

        Yeah and I’m proud of how brave you were to share it out..I read somewhere that sometimes…we should write it all out to the open because well we are all humans in a society and who knows…it could be of help
        I’m proud of you 👏🏼👏🏼❤

  3. Shan❤ says:

    *they

  4. Shan❤ says:

    My comments have disappeared immediately I posted them😂😂..what’s that?!?!
    Let’s see if you got them before I rewrite them

    1. jackie says:

      I just found them on the spam folder. I think because you comment a lot of my blog sometimes it gets flagged as spam.💞

      1. Just shan says:

        Ok before I overreact..is this a good or bad thing😹😹?
        Anyway I’m really glad you got them❤❤

        1. jackie says:

          It’s neither😹😹😹 Just a thing that happens once in awhile to prevent spam

  5. Lia says:

    Absolutely amazing post. Many many kudos to you, on all kinds of levels. You rock, gal!!! 🤩🙌🎉👍👏💛🌻

    1. jackie says:

      Thank you so much🧡🧡

  6. This was an insightful read! You make some really good points in this blog

    1. jackie says:

      Thank you🧡🧡

  7. Liz Njoroge says:

    I see you in someone I know❤️

    1. jackie says:

      🧡🧡 I am guess that a good thing.🙂

      1. Liz Njoroge says:

        It is❤️

  8. Aaaalllllll@which resonate…every single one☹🙌🏽 and each point made me angrier than the last…men think to describe you as beautiful and not smart..and expect you to swoon..i mean we will😂 but its still very annoying

    1. jackie says:

      I know right!! There are days that I am so angry at patriarchy that I don’t know how to act. But I have come to understand that some people are just not informed that’s why they behave the way they do.

      1. Or they didn’t have the best people to set examples when they were young

  9. AP2 says:

    Your story reminds of some of my colleagues who start a sentence by saying, I’m not racist but…. and then go onto say something racist. The problem is they don’t actually believe they are racist – or at least can’t acknowledge the ways they might be. Sexism is perhaps no different for us men. We don’t realise the ways in which we are because the false narratives that society have written about men and women matches up with our ways of thinking. I think of myself as a feminist but perhaps I should assume that I am still, in some way shape or form, a sexist and look to become less so than simply thinking I‘m not – which puts me in the position of not learning anything. Thank you for opening my eyes a little more. I like to think there are no good or bad people. Just people who are trying to be better and those who aren’t. We can always be better. 🙏

    1. jackie says:

      Thank you for saying this. I also believe that people aren’t innately evila nd choose to do what they do out of pure evil, they just haven’t learnt the truth.💖 💖

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