Jackie’s A to Z
Hello Wild Ones 😛,
I hope you are well. I hope that you are seeing the stars in the darkness. I hope that you realize how amazing you are. I am currently full of gratitude for my journey and the innate peace that I have learnt to build around me.
Today’s Commercial Break
I really struggled to find something to write about. I even googled words that start with “K”. Initially I was going to write using the word ‘King’ but I had already written about that when I wrote a short letter to the love of my life (Who I am yet to meet). Even as I write I am still second guessing the topic that I chose.
I am a last born in a family of three. I went to boarding school and we moved around a lot. My childhood missed many steps, one of them being introduced to the kitchen and the magic that happens. When I finally got to get into the kitchen, it was laced with talks about how my skills there would determine who marries me and how much they would love me. I have always been a nonconformist ever since I was a kid. The idea of learning to cook just to be a good wife one day rubbed me the wrong way so I never tried to learn. The first time I had to cook was to help my mum run her day care. She had left me in charge for some days and just like that, I went from never have touched a sufuria to cooking complex meals like ugali (I consider it complex). In that moment cooking became about survival. I know how to cook because I need to feed myself. Just like it has been seen before I am bad at taking care of myself so you can imagine the state of my cooking skills if it is dependent on me ( Now that I say, I realize how bad it sounds but it’s true). It is currently terrible. (May be one of these days when I have my own place and money, I should a series on food where I teach myself to cook different meals for a month). Is my cooking terrible not really? It just has really bad days and some really good days too. My cooking skills are moody just like me. I guess that’s what I get for choosing me.
When I started to write this, I at first struggled to write because I wanted to take a societal expectations angle but when I wrote it, it came out another story about self love. The story where when things are for me, I talk a set back in making them good because I don’t put high standards for how I treat myself. I expect everyone to treat me right but I don’t do the same to me. I was able to figure out that I shouldn’t be defined by society as just someone’s future wife and refused to fit in that box but I only moved myself to a box where I didn’t offer as much to myself. I gave out everything then knelt down for the scraps. Do you always give yourself the best? Do you gave high expectations on how you should treat yourself? Or do you give yourself passes for when you treat yourself badly? Also are you a good cook? Offer me some tips!!!
In other news what am I wearing:
- A blue headscarf turned into a turban
- A cream shirt (I had this top for more than seven years)
- Black and white plaid pants (My brother picked them out for me)
- My anklet
- My Nose ring
- My peyote beads
- My waist bead
With Loooooove and Sunshine 💖🌞💖🌞, Jackie