Hello Wild Ones💚💚💚,
I hope you are well and doing great things. My prayer is that you are taking care of yourself and loving yourself right. I have been a small ball of happiness and peace.
It’s about three weeks since I stopped going for therapy. One of the things I was most afraid of was that I would fall back into the same system of pain without the help of my therapist. So far, so good, I have been able to survive horrible days and handle myself very well when I get a trigger. I have even reduced my midnight snacking habits when I cannot sleep. These three weeks have been bliss with a little wind on my sail. I wrote the topic of this blog on the first day that I went to therapy, so let’s see what I learned from pouring my heart out to a complete stranger. Here are the lessons from my therapy.
Your feelings are valid
Before therapy, I struggled with accepting my feelings as they were when they were negative. I thought that I could control how I felt, so when I felt angry or sad, I gas-lit myself into believing my feelings weren’t valid. This would eventually lead me to tolerate behavior I never tolerate under normal circumstances. I learned that all my feelings are valid, even the ones that I want to be ashamed of. I have also learned to sit with my feelings and find the root cause. This is probably my one of favorite lessons from my therapy.
Sometimes you are using unhelpful thinking styles
Sometimes the way we think is just wrong for our mental health. My therapist got me challenging my thoughts, and I realized that I have a lot of unhelpful thinking styles with catastrophizing being high on the list. This has helped me answer so many questions. This is one of the lessons from my therapy that had me feeling like a new person.
Talking about your experience doesn’t nullify someone else’s
The most freeing of my lessons from my therapy is this one. I used to feel like my story was not worth telling because it could suffocate someone else’s. I learned that my story is mine, and it deserves to be told. I deserve to give my story stage to play itself out. I deserve to do it for myself, even when no one wants to listen.
Talking about your bad experience of someone doesn’t make them are bad people
When talking about my bad experience, I always hesitated because it would feel like I was vilifying someone. Then my therapist made me realize that sometimes people do bad things, and that doesn’t make them bad people, so I should also take that to consideration when I talk about my experiences. It was liberating to no longer feel like I had to defend anyone’s honor by not telling my story.
Knowing your trauma and its effect is not enough
Knowing your trauma and how it affects you is not enough. You should endeavor to heal and be a better person. Your trauma should not define you even though it’s part of your story.
Take one day at a time
Life can be complex, and it’s so easy to get overwhelmed. So don’t try to take a big bite out of life, take your tongue out and lick it slowly. Take each day at a time. Give your best on each day, and you will be fine.
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With looooove and peace,