My 4C Hair- A journey to self-love

Hello Wild Ones💖💖

I hope you are well and doing great things. I hope you are loving yourself and taking care of yourself. I am currently full of hope and grace.

I have been struggling with writing because I feel like I have been writing too deep pieces of late. I wanted to reduce it but I couldn’t seem to find something not so deep. The pieces were bringing out a lot of undealt with issues but that’s how we grow and figure out our invisible chains. So I decided to write about my hair.

I have always loved my hair even when it hated me. When I was ten, my hair fell way past my shoulders when straightened. People had a hard time believing that that was my hair. Then one day, I read somewhere that cutting the edges of your hair makes it longer. I was in class when I took a razor blade and cut the edges of my cornrows and that’s how my hair became longer at the front. I remember my mum yelling at me that she would shave my head for my silly hack. I like to call this stage of self-love, the naive stage. I loved myself but I didn’t know enough and that led me to make mistakes.

I have the kind of hair that shrinks at the slightest humidity so you can imagine how rough high school was for my hair in boarding school. Every day was a bad hair. I was actually known as the girl with really bad hair. My hair would be straight on week one and then it would shrink by the end of week two and so I had six more weeks of looking like a scarecrow (I really did). At first, I struggled with my hair then one day I thought to myself “Nikusoma nitasoma ama ni nywele nitatengeneza?” Loosely translating to ‘I need to focus on school and not my hair’. This was the beginning of the falling of my crown, I no longer tried too hard to take care of my hair and so the whole outfit always looked off with my kinky dry hair being forced into a bun. And in that season, I was always the girl with bad hair. I like to call this period the neglect period. I didn’t know how to take care of me so I gave up on me and it showed.

When I cleared high school, I got these really nice blond braids on me and I was in love with the way I looked so I kept them for a very long time (I can’t even say it aloud) so my edges suffered severely. At that time, I met this Nubian lady who told me that I need to do some protective styles for my hair if I had hopes of saving it. So I joined campus with cornrows that always made me look like a kid (Because of my baby face) and many people had an opinion about it. I remember comments like ” You could look better, You look like a kid, you are wasting your beauty, why not straighten your hair.” It bothered me and the pressure to straighten my hair was a lot but thank God I was too broke to do it often so my hair stayed like that. I like to think of this period as the introduction to self-love. I was trying to be there for my hair by only doing protective hairstyles but everyone was coming at me with opinions and I almost let them tell me what I should do for my hair.

I discovered Shea butter, coconut, wigs, colored braids, headwraps, and black YouTube and I was unstoppable. I didn’t care about anyone’s opinion about my hair. It was mine and it was beautiful in every state and I decided what I wanted it to looked like. I was rocking ‘matutas’ full of shea butter and coconut, headwraps of all colors, the infamous wigs, and very shouting colored braid. There’s one time I wore purple and white braids. I was in charge and I loved it. I like to call this stage the awakening, I knew how to deal with my hair and I did as pleased with my 4C. It was mine and I owned it. I am still learning about my hair and I always make sure I take care of it because if I don’t, who will?

This journey is not just about my hair, it’s also about me and the love that I have for myself and all the struggles that I have gone through to get to this place. It has taken a long journey to learn how to love myself and take care of myself and I am still learning. It’s my responsibility to love myself right because if I don’t, who will?

PS : I hadn’t been checking my messenger for a while now because people barely contact me through it but I found lots of messages when I opened it today. Sorry for the late responses.


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With loooove and peace,


21 Comments Add yours

  1. Just shan says:

    What a great hair journey..I’m that type who’s always obsessed with hair so you can imagine how much I enjoyed reading this😇😇..
    And I love how puffy it looks all afro ..thats my best natural style❤..
    Hair is beauty..rock in it❤❤👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

    1. jackie says:

      You are too kind Shan. Thank you❤️❤️

      1. Just shan says:


  2. Maina says:

    Wow..being the CEO of yourself

    1. jackie says:


  3. Maina says:

    Beautiful hair there bytheway 😂

    1. jackie says:


  4. I have 4c hair too and I once relaxed it and ended up,shaving my head again. I was so lucky in high school where we could plait out hair. University has been braids all the way I can’t bring myself to do anything other than that. Beautiful piece.❤️❤️

    1. jackie says:

      I can relate to this struggle. You are so lucky that you could plait in high school. I am glad you like it.

      I replied to your message btw. I hope I helped.

  5. I love this. And I love hair too! Being a man it’s hard to deal with constant pressure to “shave like other men”. Kwanza Kenya hii! Nkt. I really get how you felt, feel. It’s too cliché. I’m myself with my hair. The way I want it is how it’s going to be, regardless if the whole world is against it. What can they do… It’s mine. Lovely post. Did I mention I love hair too.

    1. jackie says:

      Eiiy!! That’s the spirit, your hair your choice!! I love men with hair.

      Thank you for reading❤️❤️❤️

      1. Comrade power 💪😁. Always…

  6. Mmmh😂😂same struggle sis …I cut my hair with scissors unlike you 😂😂high school was almost hell for me ..some time a teacher took me to a kinyozi to have it trimmed to what she called ‘managable size’ and my easy go to anywhere style are long braided cornrows 😂😂

    1. jackie says:

      It’s such a struggle but we will survive. Thank you for reading❤️❤️❤️

  7. I like how you end your stories with some motivations, they are good for the day😊

    1. jackie says:

      Thank you❤️❤️ I am glad you are inspired.

  8. Leah says:

    I remember when I was young I had long 4C hair but I was very skinny and my parents linked that to the fact that my hair was long. Ati it was taking all the nutrients 😢. That’s when my mum shaved it. 4C was a struggle especially in highschool.
    Its taken long for me to love myself too but I’m still learning.
    I really enjoy reading your work.
    Your writing skills are top notch.

    1. jackie says:

      I was skinny too and people used the same. May you continue to fall in love with yourself.

      Thank you reading❤️❤️

  9. I like that you found love in appreciating your own hair. Personally, I prefer natural hair worn as braids or afro compared to stretched hair or wigs. May I ask, is every black person’s hair 4C?

    1. jackie says:

      No, some are 3a, 3b, 3c, 4a, or 4b

      1. Wow! I now have to learn from Google. Thanks.

I appreciate your opinion!!! Leave a comment!!