Q for Quiet – When it’s quiet!!

Jackie’s A to Z

I hope you are well and doing great. I am full of sunshine and joy. I think I understand what people mean when they say they are in a good place. Guys, I am in a good place. Let’s get to my rumble today.

Today’s Commercial Break

Made on Canva

It always felt like this darkness. I was just sinking in. I wasn’t trying to walk in those places. I wasn’t trying to be the sinking girl. I just wanted to be normal. I didn’t want to feel so sad all the time. I kept saying that I could choose happiness. This sadness was not my burden. The loud wind in my spirit, I thought if I ignored it; it would eventually go away. The thing about things inside is that they are inside you. You think the burden is hard when you don’t know what’s wrong with you but it’s harder when you know it and you have no solution. I was sad and helpless. I remember there were nights I would sit up at night playing with hot candle wax. I would let it burn my skin and for a moment the pain would be on my hands and not my heart. It was a temporary fix but in the morning the wind would come rushing in. It was quiet wind. The kind that I only saw. The kind I struggled to explain. The kind that I screamed but no one heard. Pain is isolating. You begin to see yourself as an individual. The hole becomes bigger and bigger. Especially when you feel like no one understands what it feels like to want to cut your wrists. When everything in you hurts. When your own heartbeat feels likes a noise you want to silence. When the typical “look at the people who love” speech doesn’t seem to work. When you spend everyday convincing whispering to yourself that you will be okay. When you don’t want to take a bath just for your body to match your soul. When you can’t leave the bed because you nothing makes sense. When you don’t have tears. When you are so low. I want you to know it’s okay to feel like that. It’s not your fault you feel like that. Just take each day at time. Write about it!! Sing about it!! Draw about it. Talk about it! Whisper “I am a worthy” each time you feel bad even when you don’t believe it. Take jogs! Binge watch Grey’s Anatomy (This series saved my life). Meet new people ( telling strangers your problems can be therapeutic). You will survive this!!

Made on Canva

In other news, What I am wearing

  • Black heels with straps ( I want these as a gift, my shoe size is 37)
  • A cream checked dressed
  • A blue scarf
  • My wash and go hair
  • My anklet (makes the shoe look so much better)
  • My peyote beads

🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻

What do you do when things get tough?

********************************

Today’s Tip

Pinterest: Saanika Gokhale

**************************************

With Loooooove and Sunshine 💖🌞💖🌞, Jackie

8 Comments Add yours

  1. Msdedeng says:

    Woah, all dressed up miss! 🙂

    1. jackie says:

      Thank you!!!!!

  2. kinge says:

    The wax burn is twisted but glad it work for a minute..

    Seems you’ve experienced lots of pain. It’s inspiring to see you growing from it stronger.

    The whispers also helped me climb up from my pain, then there was working out, sketching, books and a different perspective of life.

    Lovely dress

    1. jackie says:

      Yeah it is twisted
      Life can be tough but e survive!!

      The whispers are the best. Glad to see you came out stronger!!

      Thank you!!!

  3. judeitakali says:

    Beautiful advice and very sassy images.

    1. jackie says:

      Thank you!!!!

  4. joycengugi says:

    Great read and inspiring too, 🤗

    Ooh, and.. I love the shoes! They look great! 💃

    1. jackie says:

      Thank you!!!

      I am in love with them too

I appreciate your opinion!!! Leave a comment!!