Jackie’s A to Z
Hello Wild Ones 💖,
I hope you are well and doing great. I have been full of joy and peace. I am learning the subtle art of not giving a fuck and not sweating the small stuff. Let’s get to it!!!
As I write this I have no idea what I want to write. I just know that I don’t want something that relate to my struggle with mental health. (I feel like I have written a lot about it for now).
I might be rigid. I have never been the girl to enjoy adrenaline. I like to walk in the safe lines. I can’t even watch a movie without googling the end lest I get disappointed. I read the last chapter of a book when the suspense becomes too much. I can’t watch football because the whole idea of sitting on the fence to see who wins is just too much. So you can imagine what happens life doesn’t give me options to know the end. But if you know me, you already that I have found a way to cheat life at this too. I make different storylines in my head about how everything should happen. I actually thought it was something crazy I do but today I figured it’s actually an INFJ trait to want to turn things into a predictable box. In short I like to compact people and now that I think about it. I probably have drawers about what I think of people and I often study people’s behavior then create patterns which then leads to drawn conclusions. It’s not like I deliberately make profiles of people in my head, it just happens. But one thing I always remind myself this is just my experience of these people and that’s what I store. This doesn’t mean anything about their identity, it’s just my experience of them. I am also big on schedules and I honestly can’t work without one. Not that I follow it to the letter but I don’t know how to do anything if I don’t know a specific destination. Well, actually this is it!!! I am rigid because I have to have a certain known and safe end goal to everything I do. In other words I need and love control. I actually didn’t know this clearly until I wrote it. Well this is actually something I will be exploring but for now I think I will leave it here.
So what’s your relationship with suspense? Do you love control like me?
In other news what am I wearing:
- My wash and go afro
- My peach scarf
- My cute little black dress
- My red lipstick
- My glasses
- My peyote bands
- My tiny cute hoop earrings
- My white and red choker (I made it)
With love and loooove,