Sometimes I fear

Hello Wild Ones 🌞🌞🌞

I hope you are well and doing great things. My prayer is that you are loving on yourself and taking good of yourself. I am currently full of hope and dreams.

Recently I have been thinking a lot about life. I always do especially when I am starting something new. I am starting school and a new job this week. So I had double anxiety and life just seemed to increase it by adding other factors into it. Then I found myself turning my life over and over full of fear. I was afraid of so many things. Some of the things that couldn’t shake are:

Need for money

I am in that weird age where you are supposed to rely on your parents and at the same fend for yours. You are supposed to be wearing training wheels towards financial independence. I couldn’t shake the feeling that I wasn’t getting anywhere with making my own money and it was really frustrating. I could see the bills starting to pile up and as they piled so did the bubbling fear of lack independence keep dancing around.

Inadequacy

I am starting school and a new internship and the impostor syndrome couldn’t leave me alone. School has always been hectic and even more with it being online. Last semester I had to take extra online classes to understand some concepts taught in class. As for the job, I had chased this company for a chance to work with them since I was in my first time and now that the opportunity, I am so afraid that I will mess it up. I also signed to work full time online despite having hectic school. So I am afraid I may have signed up for more than I can take.

Running out of time

I have this terrible habit of always comparing myself with successful people who are the same age as me. You have no idea how much I analyzed the life stories of successful people in their early twenties. I know that we all have different paths but I can’t help it. To always wonder if I am in the right track in everything from my career , money, to relationships. My biggest fear is turning 30 with nothing to show for my twenties.

The unknown

If there’s something, I have learnt in my adulthood, it’s being ready for the unknown. There’s always a big surprise that you never imagined waiting for you. When I was younger, I used to think that I was in life rehearsal when this happened. Now I know it’s part of life.

Falling

I am afraid that I might lose my grip on my mental health. I had a whole routine that helped keep me in check mentally. I had enough self care on my routine. I also didn’t have to interact with a lot of people so I controlled the energy that I got from people.

Well, how am I coping with all this fear?

  • Daily Affirmations: I am going to be fine, I am smart, I am powerful, I am worthy
  • Exercise- for the endorphins
  • Journalling- The first part of this piece is a journal entry.
  • Love Jar
  • Letters in the future
  • Taking each day at time
  • Music
  • Movies

How do you deal with fear?

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Today’s Tip

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With loooooove and care,

Jackie

16 Comments Add yours

  1. storianblog says:

    Thank you for sharing your feelings. Just being able to admit that you have these thoughts is so important. I think so much of success is about admitting when you feel weak and unready while realizing that you have the strength to grow and continue your journey, in spite of all that. I am embarking upon a new path at midlife and I too feel anxious and unsure of myself at times. I start criticizing myself for little things and wondering if I’m measuring up. I just have to be patient with myself and give myself space to fail so that I can learn from my mistakes and grow.

    1. jackie says:

      Thank you for sharing this. Hearing about someone else’s journey always helps. Thank you for reading too.

  2. PoojaG says:

    I can really relate to the need for money part since I am at that age too. I’m trying really hard to be independent and sometimes it’s not possible which can get frustrating.

    1. jackie says:

      I know right💕💕

    2. jackie says:

      We will make it though.💕💕💕

      1. PoojaG says:

        We definitely will 😊

  3. Shelly DS says:

    Jackie, it is very normal to feel the way you do, trust me! I’m just a few years ahead of you and still trying to figure life out, but to everyone else it looks like I’m successful (high paying job, happily married, home owner). If you feel like you have taken too much on, take a step back with one of them… but don’t give up. This season is really important for you to achieve as much as possible but you can’t do so at the expense of your mental health

    1. jackie says:

      Thank you for saying this. It means a lot💕💕💕

  4. Chris🌸 says:

    You’ll be fine. I’m vouching for you!! It’s better to do it afraid 💕

    1. jackie says:

      Thank you💕💕💕

  5. Great affirmations. And don’t be afraid to be feeling all of these feelings, it 10x more rewarding when you triumph.

    Keep being excellent!

    1. jackie says:

      I love this. I will keep this in mind. Thank you for saying this.

      1. My pleasure.

  6. We all share te same fears Jackie especially at this point in time but then, one of my favourite things to do is to make all my fears and struggles known to God because even when I relapse, I know he’s still there to save me!

    1. jackie says:

      That’s a nice way to deal with your fears.

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