Hello Wild Ones 🌞🌞🌞
I hope you are well and doing great things. My prayer is that you are loving on yourself and taking good of yourself. I am currently full of hope and dreams.
Recently I have been thinking a lot about life. I always do especially when I am starting something new. I am starting school and a new job this week. So I had double anxiety and life just seemed to increase it by adding other factors into it. Then I found myself turning my life over and over full of fear. I was afraid of so many things. Some of the things that couldn’t shake are:
Need for money
I am in that weird age where you are supposed to rely on your parents and at the same fend for yours. You are supposed to be wearing training wheels towards financial independence. I couldn’t shake the feeling that I wasn’t getting anywhere with making my own money and it was really frustrating. I could see the bills starting to pile up and as they piled so did the bubbling fear of lack independence keep dancing around.
I am starting school and a new internship and the impostor syndrome couldn’t leave me alone. School has always been hectic and even more with it being online. Last semester I had to take extra online classes to understand some concepts taught in class. As for the job, I had chased this company for a chance to work with them since I was in my first time and now that the opportunity, I am so afraid that I will mess it up. I also signed to work full time online despite having hectic school. So I am afraid I may have signed up for more than I can take.
Running out of time
I have this terrible habit of always comparing myself with successful people who are the same age as me. You have no idea how much I analyzed the life stories of successful people in their early twenties. I know that we all have different paths but I can’t help it. To always wonder if I am in the right track in everything from my career , money, to relationships. My biggest fear is turning 30 with nothing to show for my twenties.
If there’s something, I have learnt in my adulthood, it’s being ready for the unknown. There’s always a big surprise that you never imagined waiting for you. When I was younger, I used to think that I was in life rehearsal when this happened. Now I know it’s part of life.
I am afraid that I might lose my grip on my mental health. I had a whole routine that helped keep me in check mentally. I had enough self care on my routine. I also didn’t have to interact with a lot of people so I controlled the energy that I got from people.
Well, how am I coping with all this fear?
- Daily Affirmations: I am going to be fine, I am smart, I am powerful, I am worthy
- Exercise- for the endorphins
- Journalling- The first part of this piece is a journal entry.
- Love Jar
- Letters in the future
- Taking each day at time
How do you deal with fear?
With loooooove and care,