Sometimes Nobody owes Anything

Hello Wild Ones💖💖💖,

I hope you are well and doing great things. My prayer is that you taking good care of yourself and loving yourself right. I am currently full of hope and love and also very tired, I have been working all day.

Recently I was thinking about a friend that I lost a while ago and concluded Sometimes Nobody owes you Anything. They had told me that they felt that I was too depressed for them. From where I was standing, I remember being confused because I really tried my best not to burden anyone with my struggle with my mental health problems. Then there was someone saying that I was too depressed for them. Other than the feeling of being too broken to be loved, I felt very betrayed by them. For a very long time, I was bitter that they left me at my worst yet I had done my best to there for them in the best way possible. I remember that when they were struggling with something that felt beyond me, I literally used to research so that I would be better at being there. I was confused that someone who had severally told me that they loved me was dropping me and categorically saying that they didn’t want to learn about mental health because they didn’t want to be those “snobs” that are often self-diagnosing (This felt like an attack).

One look at this story it’s so easy to decide that they are an asshole. Part of me actually still believes they are (because I still entitled to so much) but they are mostly just ignorant. When I look at this with fresh eyes, I realize that just because I showed up for them and went high and low for them doesn’t mean they should have done it for me. Sometimes Nobody owes you Anything. It wasn’t my right for them to care about me. I have no right to be mad that they didn’t try hard enough to be there for me. I shouldn’t have expected them to take a course about how to deal with someone dealing with grief just because I took one just for them. They didn’t owe me care just because I cared. They owed me nothing so I should get over myself. The truth is that I didn’t know what they were going through and maybe they really couldn’t handle having another big issue on them. The truth is that people mostly treat you according to what they are going through so it’s not always about you.

This doesn’t mean that you keep showing up for people that won’t show up for you. It means don’t show up for people while making an inventory of the good deeds they owe you in reciprocation. Do good because you care not as a reservoir for when you need good.Sometimes Nobody owes you Anything. If you do good unconditionally, you will always find people who are willing to do even more than you ask for. I have friends who called me for hours just to help me deal. Others randomly sent sweet messages. Others just made it their job to check up on me even when I got really grumpy. I always had people in my corner.

Be unconditionally good with no expectations and remember that sometimes nobody owes you anything. There’s a Bible verse that says, “There’s more joy in giving than in receiving”. Just make sure you are not pouring from an empty cup, this will only lead to resentment and bitterness. Take care of yourself first then be unconditional in your love.💓💓

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Today’s Tip

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With loooove and unconditional love,

Jackie

26 Comments Add yours

  1. Absolutely true

    1. jackie says:

      💛💛💛 Thank you for reading.

  2. My take home….. “It means don’t show up for people while making an inventory of the good deeds they owe you in reciprocation. Do good because you care not as a reservoir for when you need good” it is beautiful.

    1. jackie says:

      That’s a good take. Thank you for reading 💛 💛 💛 💛

  3. kinge says:

    You’ve explained the topic very well. Sorry you had to learn this through a rough experience from your friend. A great lesson though of self love and giving value to others genuinely not expecting exact reciprocity

    1. jackie says:

      True, thank you so much for reading.

      1. kinge says:

        Welcome Jackie

  4. Lotus Flower says:

    Great read and very true! I think you made a valid point about not always knowing what a person is going through regarding how they treat you. I’ve had to learn not to take things personally sometimes and instead lend an ear and be there for them in case they may need it as well.

    1. jackie says:

      True! Thank you for reading.

  5. Beautiful written and a great experience that has a powerful positive impact to stand for yourself. Amazing ♥️👌

    1. jackie says:

      Thank you so much.

  6. P'apple says:

    Beautiful and true….

    1. jackie says:

      Thank you.

  7. ladyp25 says:

    Thank you for sharing this.

    1. jackie says:

      Thank you for reading.

  8. Shelly DS says:

    This is very mature of you, and you are right… no one owed you anything and you never know what someone else is going through. At the end of the day we need to recognise that we each need to take care of ourselves and our needs… if that means letting some friends go, then that’s what you have to do. I lost lots of friends because of my depression, but I have also distanced myself a bit from some people that need to work on themselves a bit more because they were toxic for my own mental health journey.

    1. jackie says:

      Thank you so much for reading.

  9. Just shan says:

    I’m one of those who’d think they’re assholes but I liked the approach and it makes a whole lot of sense 💯💯
    Nice piece 💯💯

    1. jackie says:

      Me too! I am unlearning. Thank you for reading.

      1. Just shan says:

        Always ☺☺❤

  10. PoojaG says:

    I totally agree with you! Definitely be there for people but at the same time you don’t owe it to anyone to be there.

    1. jackie says:

      True, Thank you for reading.

  11. joycengugi says:

    I gained positively from this post, thank you.

    Great read. 🤗

    1. jackie says:

      I am glad💛💛

      Thank you for reading.

  12. storianblog says:

    “This doesn’t mean that you keep showing up for people that won’t show up for you. It means don’t show up for people while making an inventory of the good deeds they owe you in reciprocation.”
    Well said!

    1. jackie says:

      Thank you for reading.

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