Hello Wild Ones💖💖💖,
I hope you are well and doing great things. My prayer is that you taking good care of yourself and loving yourself right. I am currently full of hope and love and also very tired, I have been working all day.
Recently I was thinking about a friend that I lost a while ago and concluded Sometimes Nobody owes you Anything. They had told me that they felt that I was too depressed for them. From where I was standing, I remember being confused because I really tried my best not to burden anyone with my struggle with my mental health problems. Then there was someone saying that I was too depressed for them. Other than the feeling of being too broken to be loved, I felt very betrayed by them. For a very long time, I was bitter that they left me at my worst yet I had done my best to there for them in the best way possible. I remember that when they were struggling with something that felt beyond me, I literally used to research so that I would be better at being there. I was confused that someone who had severally told me that they loved me was dropping me and categorically saying that they didn’t want to learn about mental health because they didn’t want to be those “snobs” that are often self-diagnosing (This felt like an attack).
One look at this story it’s so easy to decide that they are an asshole. Part of me actually still believes they are (because I still entitled to so much) but they are mostly just ignorant. When I look at this with fresh eyes, I realize that just because I showed up for them and went high and low for them doesn’t mean they should have done it for me. Sometimes Nobody owes you Anything. It wasn’t my right for them to care about me. I have no right to be mad that they didn’t try hard enough to be there for me. I shouldn’t have expected them to take a course about how to deal with someone dealing with grief just because I took one just for them. They didn’t owe me care just because I cared. They owed me nothing so I should get over myself. The truth is that I didn’t know what they were going through and maybe they really couldn’t handle having another big issue on them. The truth is that people mostly treat you according to what they are going through so it’s not always about you.
This doesn’t mean that you keep showing up for people that won’t show up for you. It means don’t show up for people while making an inventory of the good deeds they owe you in reciprocation. Do good because you care not as a reservoir for when you need good.Sometimes Nobody owes you Anything. If you do good unconditionally, you will always find people who are willing to do even more than you ask for. I have friends who called me for hours just to help me deal. Others randomly sent sweet messages. Others just made it their job to check up on me even when I got really grumpy. I always had people in my corner.
Be unconditionally good with no expectations and remember that sometimes nobody owes you anything. There’s a Bible verse that says, “There’s more joy in giving than in receiving”. Just make sure you are not pouring from an empty cup, this will only lead to resentment and bitterness. Take care of yourself first then be unconditional in your love.💓💓
Like, comment, share and subscribe💟💟💟
Read more posts here.
With loooove and unconditional love,