Here’s to Surrogate Fathers

Appreciating those who stepped up

Hello Wild Ones💖💖💖

I hope you are well. You better be lavishing on yourself my dearest wild royalty. I am currently writing this less than a kilometer away from the Diani beach so you can say I am well. Today’s post is a testimony of what healing does, allows flowers to grow where pain used to live. The roses still have thorns and sometimes it will hurt but most of the time it is beautiful. But first……

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Surrogate Fathers

I watched Onward, a Pixar movie about a guy who desires to meet his deceased father for just one day. He makes a list of things he hopes to do with his father. I cut a lot of onions during this movie because I related to him. I have always struggled with the idea that I have never met my father and I never will because he is dead. I have moved from angry to just devastated about it and I even wrote about it here. With the help of this movie and the best YouTube Channel of all time , Cinema Therapy, this year’s father’s day was really good. I had come to a place where I got to appreciate all the people who stepped up to be my father while still acknowledging the pain of not having my father here.

There was this one time in class that a lecturer asked what professions that our fathers had and then went on to joke that we are likely to marry people who have the same professions as our fathers. I remember wondering how I would marry a teacher since my dad had been a teacher at some point in his life. In retrospect, the lecturer was right since I have wound up dating men who are in artsy yet technical courses like my grandfather who was a land surveyor. He was my father in very many ways and I am so grateful that he stepped up. He always had the best treats. My favourite moments with him are every Sunday morning I would dress up and wait for him to take me to church with him. He was also my encyclopedia, I used to ask him all the questions in the world. My world really turned when he got sick and then spun too fast after he had died. I am so grateful he shared his life with me.

I think white weddings are the epitome of colonization of love (we wear white dresses because a English Queen wore it once) and never make sense to me but I will probably still indulge with a heavy leaning towards Africanness. When I do indulge in this, I will have my brother and my mother walk me down the aisle. My brother is my best friend, sibling and sometimes father. He steps up in ways that I have no words to explain. I am so grateful for him and all that he has done in my life. One of the best memories in my life are with him and for that I am grateful.

Sometimes fathers are not the men that sired us but those who stood by us during our best and worst days. Those who loved us we are even when we didn’t feel as worthy. Those who always stepped up.


Who would you appreciate as your surrogate father?


Today’s Tip

Pinterest: The Tango


With looooove and sunshine🧡🌞🧡🌞

The Queen Herself Jackie👑👑👑

7 Comments Add yours

  1. vaniheart says:

    This is so heartfelt ❤❤❤

    1. jackie says:

      Thank you 💖💖💖

  2. I watched onward too and it was awesome! I also love watching cinema therapy!

    1. jackie says:

      Yeiiiiiy I am not alone

  3. So true about the professions. My dad and husband are both electrical engineers

    1. jackie says:

      Eiiiiy this is so dope

  4. hannahtk says:

    Diani?? That is the place to be. Please enjoy it double, wakwitu. You have been through a lot of pain indeed. Thank you for celebrating your rich legacy and choosing to look on the bright side at the rich, rich blessings you have despite heart-rending pain.

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