Jackie’s A to Z
Hello Wild Ones 😏,
I hope you are well and doing awesome things. (I know! The same basic greeting) I hate it too. I wish I had something more fun! Anyway I have been good and doing waaaay better.
Today I will talk about something I have been struggling with but I try my best to act like it doesn’t bother me. If you ask my mum she will say I am the most rebellious of her kids. She wasn’t surprised when I let her know I was going to pierce my nose; she just nodded and said “As long as it doesn’t kill you and it makes me happy.” If there’s a kid that my mum expects to do things untraditionally, it’s probably me. When we talk about boys and relationships, she always says that she suspects that I will probably end up with a guy with dreadlocks or cornrows or a piercing (which is a little scandalous in my family). This is just to paint the picture of how unconventional I am. I have a bone in my spine that likes to question everything so you can imagine my confusion when time seems to be scaring me.
I recently turned 22 and yes so many people are going to say that that’s very young but I already see my thirties flashing in front of me. I am already worried about the fact that I haven’t moved out. That I am graduating in one year and I don’t have a structure of what kind of job I want after graduation. And I know it’s okay to not have figured stuff out in fact I try not to figure out too much because I tend to put myself in a box. I just sometimes wish I could peek at what life has in store for me.
I am also currently single and I remember when I became single, one of the people I called while crying was my mum. She gave me a whole speech about how young I am and that I have so much to achieve before I settle down. Of course, she also added something about kissing frogs before meeting the “prince” and the whole ‘you are cute as hell forget him’ pep talk. ( My mum can be cool sometimes) I know that my twenties are mine and that once I am married it’s forever but sometimes I worry. I worry that I am too mature to believe in the power of love. I worry that I am too dreamy that I might get swept off my feet by the wrong person. I worry I might never be ready for love. I worry I might pass it. It just feels like stepping into the darkness.
Yeah, I have no pep talk to give to day other than you are awesome!!
In other news what am I wearing
- A green skirt- the longest I have ever owned and it used to be my mum’s when she was younger
- my peyote beads- Kenyan flag matches really well
- white top with flowers
- my African earrings
- My peach scarf
- My red lipstick
- My love heart nose ring
With love and loove,