The Defining Decade Review- The Customized Life


Hello Wild Ones 💖💖💖💖

Wooow, Have you seen how amazing you look? Look at that beautiful crown. I hope you are carrying around in life like the King or Queen that you are. What you hold is special. Never forget this. I am up and about crowning and winning.

Today’s Commercial Break
Made with love on Canva

I will be analyzing this book while putting some of my own story in it. I hope you learn something from it. Please check the book below. I would appreciate it if you read it and share your understanding too. Please read other blogs on the’The Defining Decade Review here.

The Customized Life

Distinctiveness is a fundamental part of identity. We develop a clearer sense of ourselves by firming up the boundaries between ourselves and others.

Meg Jay, The Defining Decade Quote

Who are you? What makes you you? I had to stop for a long minute to think about this. I think what makes me who I am is my love for solving problems. Even as a kid, I was trying to invent something or create something. I always some weird project stewing somewhere from making baskets using grass, crocheting, planting maize, etc. After reading ‘Women who love too much’ by Robin Norwood ( The audiobook to this book is currently free on the free trial for amazon audiobook here), I figured that this partly because of my trauma, but that’s a story for another day. Since problem-solving is stewed deeply in me, this would mean that whatever route I take in life should follow this authenticity.

My ‘authenticity’ places me in the lucky position to choose from many things, but it is not the same for some people. Choosing and settling down for their authenticity could feel like settling for less. Reading and doing ‘The Defining Decade Review’ gave a bigger perspective of the importance of identifying my authenticity and always checking with myself if this is what I want for myself. Now I constantly ask myself, ‘how can I make my 20s count?’ I recently told my friend that I am chasing all the opportunities that I can so that in case I fail, I will know I did my best in making sure that my 30s are not my new 20s.

In her book, ‘The Defining Decade,’ Meg Jay emphasizes that you are not settling but starting when you claim a path. It is essential to realize that you are different everywhere you go. Your difference should not stop you from starting somewhere because you are afraid to be basic but rather point in the direction you are supposed to start. Knowing your starting point and what makes you different then allows you to tell your story eloquently until someone buys into it. Everyone is looking for a story that is unique and inspires. Make sure that you have your story when they lend you an ear. This chapter was like the climax for the previous chapters; ‘The Unthought known’ and ‘The Search for Glory and The Tyranny of Shoulds.’

I didn’t do Meg Jay’s book justice with The Defining Decade Review of this chapter, please do buy and read the book (The Defining Decade audiobook is currently free on the free trial for amazon audiobookhere. This is a really good book to tell you why your 20s are important.


What makes you you? What did you learn from this The Defining Decade summary?


Today’s Tip

Pinterest: Rebekah


With Loooooove and Sunshine 💖🌞💖🌞, Jackie

13 Comments Add yours

  1. Grace says:

    Keep doing the dope work. I am so proud of the things that you are doing. One of these days you are going to win a Pulitzer.

    1. jackie says:

      Thank you so much for the kind words

  2. Jadwong says:

    What makes me me? 🤔

    I trust and love easily, quickly and completely. Big on being gracious and understanding and loving people as they want to be loved. I have a knack for symmetry, tidiness and an eye for detail.

    1. jackie says:

      Sounds like you really know yourself.

      We wouldn’t mesh well, I am very clumsy.

      1. Jadwong says:

        Ever heard of the phrase, “Opposites attract”?

        1. jackie says:

          Then they start fighting over their differences.

          1. Jadwong says:

            Nah. You celebrate and learn from the differences. We all compliment each other. Your weakness is complimented by their strength, their fear complemented by your hope and so on.

            1. jackie says:

              That’s not what I believe in🤣🤣🤣 I will let you know when I write about it soon actually

              1. Jadwong says:


  3. As we become increasingly aware of our psychological differences we are also experiencing the increasing pressure of physical conformity imposed by the market and media.

    1. jackie says:

      This is so true. There is need to understand exactly what you stand for.

  4. You had me at “Your difference should not stop you from starting somewhere because you are afraid to be basic.”

    1. jackie says:

      This is something I continually remind myself. It is very easy to not start because you are afraid of being ordinary. I am glad you got something from this. Thank you for reading.

I appreciate your opinion!!! Leave a comment!!