The pulse check

Welcome to my rumble. This one goes directly to my pointless rumble and there’s no call action to this one. I am just a girl talking about her problems.

So I think I should just go direct and in detail about my current struggles, and I insert the kubool link for anyone who sorta relates and would like to share their stories anonymously, which I will respond to here or just talk to me on messenger through the popup. I have been really enjoying conversations with some of you.

School– Well, first, I haven’t had the psyche for school since it started this semester and the fact that it went online made it even worse. Now I am often looking for movies that will inspire me to go back and do some of that financial accounting, but I keep finding myself crying at Shonda Rhimes’ cruelty towards the residents and interns at Seattle Grace while dancing to random songs. Not even the fear of poverty is motivation enough to get me to be the perfect diligent student I should be.

Blogging– I have recently been obsessing over my growing traffic without any desire to create more content. I keep trying to develop more relationships with other bloggers, which has been working fine, but I feel like I have become addicted to linking with bloggers and reading their content without creating any content myself. There are days I sleep at 3 am just reading other people’s blogs and getting nourished by all the dope pieces of writings.

Exercise– I do want a six-pack, so I have been obsessing about tummy exercises for the longest time. I had been really consistent until the school closed, and I flew back home. Now all I do is promise myself to do exercises the next day, but I haven’t been able to do anything.

Distractions– I cannot concentrate to save my life. I keep finding myself googling the most random things, messages coming from everywhere and everyone, and urges to dance just surging inside me. I am sorta helpless here.

The Hollow Brain– I think this is could be the cause for all this confusion. Ever since I came home, my emotions and thoughts have been all over the place. I haven’t been able to pack my thoughts and feelings on shelves. Maybe because I am afraid of touching things I really don’t want to deal with right now or because I really don’t know what’s wrong. I just know that there’s something really wrong with me, but I can’t pinpoint it. Whatever it is, I need to deal with it as soon as possible.

Well, that’s how my life has been. I look forward to hearing what you have been doing in the comments.

With love and confusion,


5 Comments Add yours

  1. chicky1968 says:

    It may just be a simple case of “cabin fever”. It gets better as times goes by. Don’t let school assignments get too far gone because it then be overwhelming when you try to focus on your school work. I think we’re all confused and besides ourselves these days, so you’re not alone in that, but you have to start focusing on something or you’ll end up in the aybss known as quarantine. Here’s to hoping you see the light at the end of the tunnel soon. Big Smiles

    1. jackie says:

      Thank you so much 💝

  2. makagutu says:

    Hey Jackie if I can call you that.
    A lecturer friend of mine has problems with his online classes because a significant number don’t have access so they would be disadvantaged.
    As to lack of content, that happens to all of us. Sometimes just reading other blogs is good enough.
    Fear of poverty would keep me awake & out of the house

    1. jackie says:

      Yeah, it’s tough for those who don’t have materials to allow them to do online courses. I guess I just need more fear.

      1. makagutu says:

        Though fear is not the best motivator, or so I hear.

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