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Deep Stuff, Poetry

The Stained Sun

Posted by jackie on August 25, 2020August 25, 2020

Hello Wild Ones🌸🌸🌸

I hope you are well and doing well. My prayer is that you are taking good care of yourself and loving yourself. I am full of hope and trust for a better tomorrow.

The Stained Sun

I have been orbiting this issue

Wondering how to address it

Not because I have no mouth

But this issue is a scratch on the sun

Sometimes I get no light because of it

Sometimes I think I like the darkness it brings

I have been orbiting around a stained sun

I sometimes want to clean this shit up

But I am afraid to get burnt

So sometimes I stop orbiting and hide

I hide from the stain

Maybe just maybe it will go away

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Today’s Tip

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With looooove and Grace,

Jackie

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17 Comments Add yours

Nyamwa says:

February 10, 2020 at 9:14 am

I really like the idea of a stained sun.

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1. jackie says:
  
  February 20, 2020 at 10:52 am
  
  Thank You!!!
  
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Eromonsele Emmanuel says:

August 25, 2020 at 1:57 am

It’s great that you brought orbiting into the spin. That’s creative Jackie. Me like it. 😁

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1. jackie says:
  
  August 25, 2020 at 8:58 am
  
  Thank you Emmanuel
  
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  1. Eromonsele Emmanuel says:
    
    August 26, 2020 at 1:48 am
    
    You’re very welcome!
    
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In my Feelings says:

August 25, 2020 at 4:17 am

Love this piece!

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1. jackie says:
  
  August 25, 2020 at 8:57 am
  
  Thank you
  
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  Reply
  1. In my Feelings says:
    
    August 25, 2020 at 2:27 pm
    
    You’re welcome Jackie!
    
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faithakatiki says:

August 25, 2020 at 5:54 am

Beautiful piece

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1. jackie says:
  
  August 25, 2020 at 8:57 am
  
  thank you
  
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kinge says:

August 25, 2020 at 9:57 am

Creative metaphorism. Really nice

Sometimes the act of facing challenges make them dissapear..

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1. jackie says:
  
  August 25, 2020 at 12:06 pm
  
  True. Thank you for reading.
  
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  1. kinge says:
    
    August 25, 2020 at 2:09 pm
    
    Welcome
    
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    Reply
judeitakali says:

August 25, 2020 at 1:22 pm

Quite the undertone of distress, 😰

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1. jackie says:
  
  August 25, 2020 at 9:45 pm
  
  💞💞
  
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Let's Cook says:

August 25, 2020 at 5:32 pm

Love this piece

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1. jackie says:
  
  August 25, 2020 at 9:47 pm
  
  THank you💞💞
  
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  Reply

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One of the questions I asked my therapist was how long it would take to feel normal again. She told me to write a letter to my 'normal' self and telling her all that has changed. While writing this letter, I put certain things as things I could only do when I felt "normal". Whenever opportunities to do these things came, I would run away because I had decided. I had decide that I wasn't worthy of certain spaces because I was healing. While everyone else looked at me like this broken item that needed fixing, I am the one who gave the broken lense to see me through. I was walking through life waiting for the day I heal then I can reward myself with everything I gave up. Then one day I came to realise that I had ostracised myself from the world just because I had things I needed to heal from. Don't get me wrong of course there's need to step back and give yourself space to heal when you go through something. Just don't lock yourself in when you meant to create a healthy boundary. As soon as I wrote this, I wondered what the difference between these two is. I honestly wouldn't know. I just know that I deserve a life and refuse to punish myself for having gone through a trauma. I am doing the work to be better and I know better. I am going to be fine and those around are also going to be fine. ⠀

After reading Meg Jay’s ‘The Defining Decade,’ I got a new perspective about relationships in our twenties. I have always believed that I should wait until my thirties to really care about romance. Then I saw one thing that Meg Jay said that stuck with ‘Delaying love in your twenties doesn’t really guarantee success.’ It was really shocking to actually come to this realization because it hit it on the head. What really makes you ready for love by just waiting? If you don’t actually put in the work to know the kind partner you want, the kind of partner you are, how you function in a relationship, and how your dreams play out in your relationship. Your thirties are going to find you not ready for love, and wait will be a complete waste of time—date with a purpose.⠀

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