Jackie’s A to Z
Hello Wild Ones 😆😆
As usual, I am curious how you are, and hope that you are okay and surviving. I am full of hope and a little turmoil.
I have been making lots of friends from the people who read my blog and it’s really enjoyable to talk to all these awesome people who relate to my content. I am honestly humbled by the sweet emails and lovely poems that I keep getting from you guys. I just hope that you keep taking care of yourself and also find a healthy way to deal with whatever you are dealing with. Anyway, let’s get to it!!
I was gonna write about my womanhood and things that make me a woman but then I got triggered by a movie that I was watching. I saw this scene in a movie and it reminded me of a trauma that I thought I had dealt with. I was sure that I had won that war. I was sure that I would no longer feel so crappy like that ever again. But a silly scene in a movie had me going down that road. My first instinct was to get mad at myself for not being completely healed. If you know me then you know I have a competitive streak and I love to win. In fact, I keep competing with this guy on Duolingo on who should be on top of the leader board; we keep beating each other. But I plan on spending like two hours on it soon just to give him like 1000 points difference. I digress. I wanted to win. I just wanted to jot down my success story and stand up say “I survived”. But I guess some wars aren’t supposed to leave you the same but rather build the strength to deal with them. You are never the same but you learn to live in the new normal. You learn to find happiness in this normal. This war will have wins that will make celebrate and dance and on other days you will fall and hurt. On those days give yourself grace and dip in the pool of self-love. The pressure to show people that you survived when they know your struggle can be a lot especially when some of those ‘watching’ are the ones who hurt us. But it’s important whose journey it is, it is your journey and yes, we love milestones and we want to parade them but the bigger picture is always you. So make sure that you slide through the pitfall with love and grace so when God takes you, make sure that you can tell Him that you lived your truest and most authentic life even your pain.
In other news what am I wearing:
- A blue top with lace at the middle
- Black and white skirt
- My peach headscarf
- My peyote bands
- My confidence
- My promise rings
With love and looove,