Weak Ties


Hello Wild Ones💝💝💝💝

I hope you are well and that great things are happening for you. My prayer is that you know how awesome you are. I am currently really proud of how awesome I am and the dope things I continue to do.

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I will be analyzing this book while putting some of my own story in it. I hope you learn something from it. Please check the book below. I would appreciate it if you read it and share your understanding too. Please read other blogs on the analysis of ‘The Defining Decadehere.

Weak Ties

Yes is how you get your first job, and your next job, and your spouse,
and even your kids. Even if it’s a bit edgy, a bit out of your comfort zone,
saying yes means you will do something new, meet someone new, and
make a difference.

Eric Schmidt, executive chairman of Google

I got my first internship from a company that didn’t even have an opening for interns. I had met my boss through a speaker who had come to my school. This boss didn’t even know me when she decided to call me in for an interview. I had gotten her email and then asked to learn more about lions because she worked with lions. I later asked for an opportunity to work with her. This would lead me to get a stipended internship all from one email introducing me to the boss. That internship even wound up being the best internship I have done so far.

In her book, The Defining Decade, Meg Jay introduces the importance of weak ties and the Benjamin Franklin Effect. Meg Jay talks about how we are less likely to get help from those we know and have helped before. This is why we have so many memes about that uncle who promised to look for a job for you but never came through. Meg Jay suggests that it is those we don’t really know that is more likely to help us. She uses one of America’s Founding Fathers, Benjamin Franklin’s theory, to support this. Benjamin wanted a certain political seat and needed the support of one political leader. Benjamin was very strategic about getting their support by first borrowing a book from this political leader before asking him for support.

The assumption is that people love to be considered good people, so they will not hesitate to help you the second time, especially if you don’t know each other. A saying goes, ‘Familiarity brings Contempt’ so your strong ties are less likely to show up for you as the weak ties would when it comes to favors. Maybe we all have a store of favors that we give to new people in the first few times that we meet them before our ties are stronger, and then we no longer care as much.

I believe that theory could be true because there wasn’t any open position looking for an intern in most places where I have worked. I just ‘nagged’ my way into those positions. I would send so many emails asking for a chance until they felt compelled to give me a chance. The first thing you should learn from this is to step out of your comfort zone and meet new people, especially those you would rarely make friends with. These are the weak ties that you need. You can meet new people at conferences, parties, concerts, etc. The best places to meet new people with corona are zoom meetings, zoom conferences, Instagram live, etc. You can look up sites like Events Brite, Opportunity Desk, etc. Beware of scammers all the time.

I would challenge you to be shameless and keep asking for opportunities from people you want to work with. I am not asking to harass them but make sure they listen. I ask you to show up to make sure that you can easily communicate your value and make sure that they know it or have a gist of it by the end of your first conversation. Practice an elevator pitch about yourself if you have to. Make sure that you have researched the person you want a favor from; Benjamin Franklin found out that the political leader he wanted to woo had a library before borrowing a book.

I didn’t do Meg Jay’s book justice with this short analysis of this chapter, please do buy and read the book here.


In what way has a weak tie helped you?

What are other ways that you have met people who helped you a lot?


Today’s Tip

Pinterest: Of the Hearth


With Loooooove and Sunshine 💖🌞💖🌞, Jackie

4 Comments Add yours

  1. Lúcia.M says:

    Feels like you speaking to me about knocking on the doors I’ve been avoiding for a while, for whatever reason.

    1. jackie says:

      Please Knock on those doors.💖💖💖You have all it takes.

  2. Where would humanity ended up in the past, if obstacles had not continuously challenged us? We need to test our strength and get to know of our shortcomings! You are endowed with a high level of self-awareness and were fortunate to got the opportunity to test yourself.

    1. jackie says:

      Woow very profound. I should get you to guest blog sometime💖💖💖

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