What if there was nothing like Bad Vibes

What If Series

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What If Series

I will share the most random what if that come to my head.

What if there was nothing like Bad Vibes

Until last year, I believed that there was such a thing as bad feelings and that some are not to be felt. So whenever I got sad, I just piled it up somewhere in my brain. Then one day, the pile got too big, and it came tumbling down on me. I couldn’t even tell what I was really sad about because there was so much to be sad about all at once. My first lesson at therapy would be that my feelings are valid no matter what I feel. It was a struggle to accept that all feelings demand to be felt the same way and treated as valid. This has been a growing point for me, and each day I learn how to deal with my feelings.

I have been reading ‘The Completion Process’ by Teal Swan. One concept that fascinated me was that sometimes we don’t dislike people because they have bad vibes but because they have similar parts to those that we have long rejected about ourselves. Teal Swan believes that when we experience life as adults, our wounded child selves in us sometimes show up in different situations and cry that you acknowledge them. I am not entirely sold on these theories because Teal herself is very controversial, but I related to this. At the beginning of this year, I got into a fight with this guy who, in my opinion, got mad because I rejected him (he will say something else), and then he got really rude and insulting. I got triggered and went into my pettiest mode, which is not pretty at all. (I am forgiving myself for stooping that low). These theories got me thinking about my experience with guy.

Reading Teal’s book got me thinking about how this guy just seemed to repel me, and I just felt really off every time I talked to him. On reflection of our fight, I realized that he somehow managed to make my own abandonment issues clear to me and I didn’t like that about our interactions. There are more issues that made our interactions unhealthy but this was the main one. It was always glaring at me every time I spoke to him, I don’t know why. So I did what I do best with situations that make me uncomfortable, I avoided them. The book and the experience have had me thinking through my life. Since then, I am learning to look at my abandonment issues and think twice before cutting people off.  I am grateful for that petty fight because I have grown so much from it. I only wish it was at the expense of someone else’s feelings and my mine but what is done is done. My hope is that he also grew from it. Otherwise, We move.

What if there is no such thing as bad vibes? Maybe it’s just messages that we are not ready to have with ourselves, others, and society in general. Ask yourself why someone makes you so uncomfortable. It is because they are so much like the parts that you hate about yourself. It is because you are afraid to have a particular conversation with them—food for thought.


What do you think?


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With Loooooove and Sunshine 💖🌞💖🌞, Jackie

21 Comments Add yours

  1. Jadwong says:

    I agree “that sometimes we don’t dislike people because they have bad vibes but because they have similar parts to those that we have long rejected about ourselves.”

    I have for long thought that I was a “nice guy” and all that. But it was a surprise when I realised that the things I hated in others were the very things I was guilty of.

    About dealing with the feelings and emotions, I agree that there are no good or bad feelings. Just feelings. So when I catch myself feeling a certain way, I don’t deny them. I acknowledge them, but try not to own them, and then ask myself why I am feeling that way. Self-awareness is not easy or a beautiful process but worth it.

    I learnt the ABC of self evaluation. A: activating incident, B: belief and C: consequences. For example, talking to my ex, even for the shortest time can become my activating incident, that makes me believe I am not good enough and consequences of that are me being desperate and begging for her to take me back and doing what I can however harmful to feel anything other than this pain.

  2. I guess people can’t always relate well to some emotions so when they see a person lashing out or breaking down, they call it bad vibes instead of providing a listening ear.

    “I don’t like hanging out around this person, he’s always sad.” Why not find out why?

    Again, I know bad vibes may also have something to do with party goers and introverts but I chose to read the former meaning to it.

    Cheers to more blissful days and I hope we all become better humans.

    1. jackie says:

      This is really great insight. I love it. I never actually thought about the extrovert and introvert part too. Thank you for reading and commenting. I am yet to catch on your work😪 but I will.

  3. Shelly DS says:

    Life would be amazing … actually it wouldn’t because then the good feelings would just be average. I hate feeling sad or going through tough times, but it does make everything else seem much more memorable.

    1. jackie says:

      True, pain and sadness makes joy and happiness worth it. Thank you for reading and commenting.

      I haven’t read you in a while. I have a lot to catch up on. You don’t appear on my reader anymore. I don’t know why.

      1. Shelly DS says:

        That’s so weird 🤔 I wonder if the reader does that from time to time?

        1. jackie says:

          It’s a problem I have had since I went on break. Every blog I used to interact with is no longer showing up.

  4. Bad vibes? Such an unfitting description about a situation where we are be confronted with our own insecurity we are projecting something outwards what is actually happening inside our selfs. We are still lacking in self knowledge.

    1. jackie says:

      True. We need to learn more about ourselves to have better conversations.💖💖💖💖

  5. Wonani says:

    I feel attacked. Now I have to go back and think about people who I feel give me “bad vibes”. Maybe there’s a part of me there that I don’t like? I don’t know.

    But still, I think some people just have bad vibes lol

    1. jackie says:

      🤣🤣🤣🤣 True, I still think that guy had really bad vibes

      1. Wonani says:

        Girl he probably did 😂😂

        1. jackie says:


  6. Lin Muthaura says:

    In my opinion, I don’t think there is anything like bad vibes. I’d like to believe we are afraid of having honest conversations about things we believe in. Lets vibe! Good or bad is limiting! I would love to experience it all; AS IS.

    1. jackie says:

      Interesting take. Are you sure you would be able to handle all that is thrown at you?

      1. Lin Muthaura says:

        Yes. If it comes at me that means I am built for it… I believe one cannot experience something that they cannot fight through or find joy through.

  7. Jorinde says:

    So true! And kudo’s for still staying open to Teal’s ideas even if you might not agree with everything. I’m the same way with her, cautious but I also find a lot of value. The idea of your inner child reacting through you is not hers. And there are many therapists and healers who use inner child work. For me it’s been a very important area to explore.

    1. jackie says:

      Oooh I didn’t know about the inner child idea until I read her book. Do you have resources that I could learn more about this?

      1. Jorinde says:

        I mostly learned about it during various workshops and therapy. I just looked it up and saw there’s an Inner Child Workbook. That might be an interesting place from which to start, though I haven’t read it myself.

        1. jackie says:

          Okay, Thank you💝💝💝

          1. Jorinde says:

            You’re welcome 🙂 ❤️

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