Hey Wild Ones,🌺🌺🌺
I hope you are well and doing great. My hope is that you are taking really good care of yourself. I am currently full of hope and love.
On today’s episode of my randomness, I decided to embark on a small research journey to find out what love really is. Context: Once I really liked a boy (I don’t think it was mutual, but I was obsessed enough for us to sustain the whole thing) and he once said (Please do insert a looot of twang) ” What is Love? How do people believe in Love? Like you just believe in a feeling? It’s like believing in hunger!!!” Of course, I prayed to Jesus to take away the extreme liking after he said that, but those words stuck with me. So yeah, I really wanna know if I missed out on this guy or just prove him wrong cause I can. Hold on tight; I might be getting a little academic in the next paragraphs.
In this research, we will be focusing on just romantic Love since, first, people rarely question the other types of Love, and two, presumably romantic Love, was the type love that ‘my beloved’ was talking about. I will be using secondary sources of information like websites and stuff. Yeiiy!!! Put your smart glasses on, and let’s enjoy!!!
So what is Love? According to Wikipedia, Love encompasses a range of strong and positive emotional and mental states, from the most sublime virtue or good habit, the deepest interpersonal affection, and to the simplest pleasure (WiKipedia, 2019). This means that Love is not just a feeling; it’s a combination of many things, as stated by Wikipedia. Well, since just about anyone writes Wikipedia, I need to give you more ‘credible’ sources, so let’s see what the internet has to offer.
According to Deborah Anapol, Love is a force of nature. You can only control Love the same way you can control the sun or the moon. You can choose to accept Love, but you can’t control how it happens (Anapol,2011). This definition reminds me of something that my friend often says, “We don’t choose who we love, we just do.” It also scares the hell out of me. The idea of not being able to be in control of Love and how it ‘happens’ to me is scary, and the idea that you can’t make someone love you makes it even scarier. So basically, cupid can strike you with his arrow, then forget to shoot your beloved, and you find yourself walking around with unrequited Love and a lot of quotes about how you are glad that Love grew in your heart. *Moment of Silence for all those who have loved but haven’t been loved back*
The other source that I stumbled and fell in Love with was by verywellmind.com. It sought to give five psychological theories of Love done by different psychologists. The one that struck me most was the one done by psychologist John Lee. In his book The Colors of Love, John Lee likens styles of Love to the color wheel where the primary styles of Love are like the primary colors. The primary styles of Love are eros, which means passionate, ludos, which means game and storge, which means natural affection. According to Lee, just like the primary colors combine to form secondary colors, so do primary styles of Love; for example, ludos and eros combine to get mania, which is obsessive Love (Cherry, 2019). This piece of information just made Love look so complicated to me (I don’t think I am the only one who is confused at this point.)
Warning Jackie’s Opinion ahead (could be super flawed or the smartest shit you are ever going to read)
Maybe we can’t explain what Love is. Perhaps Love is different for all of us? What is Love? Is it the social anxiety that I felt in the presence of “my beloved”? Is it the feeling of home that I think in the presence of my best friend? Is it the sudden running away from my fears when my mum calls? Is it how just sitting with my best friend without even saying a word makes everything okay? The aim of this piece of writing was to come up with a definition of what Love is but along the way, I realized that most of these articles people also don’t really know despite the long articles and sources like this one. Come to think of it, every time I have loved, it was different from the other. My first Love was playful and full of stupidity if I wrote a poem about it, the catchphrase would be ” Love is like playing field full of flowers and sunshine.” Right now, I would say Love is the sweetest path to home.
You must forgive me for promising to give you the meaning and failing to do so. You must realize that only you can define what Love is to you, and the hope is that you choose the truest and purest of Love. Love that you choose to be treated with dignity and admiration. Love that your love language is not ignored. I think Love is about you, how you like to get it and how others like to get it. It’s that simple yet so complex.
Side Note: To “my beloved” if bad luck leads you to this post, and you recognize that I was talking about you. Thanks for the inspiration, and also I hope you find Love that’s more intense than a feeling.
To the rest of you, who are just spectators to my long-needed (This is an exaggeration but take it) closure to “My beloved” I hope you do find Love that makes define it like Shakespeare in Sonnet 116
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Anyway, With Love, a sonnet,