Why you are probably afraid to go to therapy

Hello Wild Ones🔥 🔥 🔥 ,

I hope you are well and doing great things. My prayer is that you are loving on yourself and taking good of yourself. I am currently full of hope and dreams.

This was among the first posts that I thought of writing when I started this blog. Back then I had tried therapy and it hadn’t worked. I knew I needed professional help coping but I was sure if I wanted to see a therapist again. Back then I just wanted process, I was so against something I desperately needed. Now I am just reflecting on that time when I was afraid to go to therapy.

Stigma

People often associate going therapy with being broken. I was afraid to go to therapy because it would be admitting that I am weak. There’s so much pressure especially among Africans to be strong. I even remember the first time I had tried therapy, I told this boy I liked about it and he responded “A strong African Woman like you is going to therapy??” I remember feeling really broken and discouraged about ever trying to therapy. Now I can tell that therapy doesn’t mean you are broken, it just means that you need help. It’s the same as going to a doctor or taking a painkiller. Going to therapy is a form of self care.

Some Stranger will tell you what to do

You are probably afraid to go to therapy because you don’t understand the role of a therapist. There’s this belief that therapists will come listen to your life story and then tell you what to fix and what’s wrong. Well, yes and no. In my experience, the therapist takes you through exercises that lead you to discover certain things about yourself. My therapist only offered insight when I was stuck. Coming to realization about certain in things by my own terms had a long lasting effect. I would never trade that experience for anything.

The Work

Healing is a long painful journey. Therapy might have you reliving trauma that you have long buried. It can be very scary to admit that you are in pain. Even scarier to admit that you have to hold certain people accountable for your pain and often you are part of those people. If you are struggling to decide because of this know that it hurts the most before it heals. It’s okay to be afraid to go to therapy, just don’t let fear keep you from shining your light.

The Cost

I am privileged to be in a position to be able to see a therapist. Some people cannot afford the price of therapy and most insurance companies don’t cover it. This is tragic because very many people need the service. Some companies like Red Cross offer this free services however it’s not exactly quality. There are also therapists with really good content on YouTube, Instagram and Pinterest. I don’t have specific people that consume content from since I just make sure that all my social media feed has content that nourishes my mental health. I often just search “coping mechanisms”, ” self healing “, ” self love’, “Mental health ” etc.

Bad Experience

As I mentioned, when I first tried therapy, it didn’t work out. Therapy is like paying to have a friend.Sometime people just don’t click. I believe this is what happened with my first therapist hence the bad experience. I also had high expectations where I thought after two sessions I would be okay. Well, I wasn’t. So I got very frustrated and left. When I got a therapist I related to and felt more comfortable with and this time I was more patient, the results were better.

Whats is the reason you don’t want to go to therapy?

*********************

Today’s Tip

***********************

With looove and hope,

Jackie

21 Comments Add yours

  1. storianblog says:

    Thank you for writing this!

  2. AP2 says:

    Great post! I completely agree re seeking therapy. I tried a few times with different therapists before I found the right one for me. As you say a big part of the problem is the idea that we take therapy to mean we are flawed. Yet therapy should be the most normal thing in the world if you ask me. No-one thinks twice about seeing the doctor when they have some kind of physical pain they don’t understand. Why do we hesitate with emotional problems we can’t figure out?

    It’s important to find the right one for you of course. Often approaching a GP for a referral is a good way to do it – or asking a friend to recommend one. Then its worth scheduling “a referral for a referral” – as in you ask that therapist to refer you to another one they think would be suitable for you in particular. Get the professional to give you his or her professional opinion. That was recommended to me as a way to find one and it worked very well. Since then my life has been immeasurably better.

    Thank you Jackie for being part of the good fight! Wishing you all the best, AP2

    1. jackie says:

      “a referral for a referral” I love this. Thank you for the tip

  3. Silver says:

    I thin one barrier that many face, even, if they want to seek therapy, is that it can take months to get a referral and to be seen by a therapist, especially if you’re going to be seen within the public health system.

    When I could have done with it, it took almost six months to be seen, by which time I had worked myself out of the state I was in myself. Because of this, we decided to go private for Husband when he needed it.

    I am not prepared to wait six months for the first appointment when Husband starts telling me that he wishes that he didn’t exist, and that he wished we’d never met, as then he wouldn’t be such a burden to me. <3

    1. jackie says:

      Well, That’s a really messed up situation. The public health system in many places doesn’t care about mental health. This clearly need to change.

  4. Shelly DS says:

    Thanks for sharing this, it’s so true! Every experience is different and it takes finding the right therapist that uses the right tools for you. It’s also important to have an open mind. You mentioned you’re African… from which country?

    1. jackie says:

      True every experience is different. I am Kenyan.

      1. Shelly DS says:

        Ah yes I remember you told me once 🙈

  5. kwambokaisla says:

    I personally from experience wouldn’t actually go back and see anyone like a therapist but I would consider after reading this, I hope it works out when I’m ready!

    1. jackie says:

      I hope it works out too. Finding a therapist that works for you can get tricky sometimes. I hope you do.

        1. jackie says:

          Sending you love and light.

  6. Kinya says:

    Hello… I have nominated you for the Liebster award nominations… Check link to participate https://evelynkinya156.wordpress.com/2020/09/07/the-liebster-award/

  7. Kinya says:

    I have nominated you for the Liebster award… Check link to participate… https://evelynkinya156.wordpress.com/2020/09/07/the-liebster-award/

  8. Kinya says:

    I have nominated you for the Liebster award.. Check link to participate
    https://evelynkinya156.wordpress.com/2020/09/07/the-liebster-award/

    1. jackie says:

      Aaaaw, thank you so much. I will reply to it soon.

      1. Kinya says:

        Congratulations 🎊

        1. jackie says:

          Congratulations too.

          1. Kinya says:

            🎊🎊😊

  9. PoojaG says:

    You are so right about all the factors you mentioned! The reason I was hesitant to go to therapy was that like you my first therapist and I did not click well together. However, my second therapist and I clicked really well and I found the therapy very beneficial.

    1. jackie says:

      Props to you for having the courage to go back to therapy.

I appreciate your opinion!!! Leave a comment!!