From the time that I have been self-aware, I have had this pain that came and left. Every time this pain came to visit, my eyes and ears would open_ looking for sources for the pain. I would pray for disaster because then it would make sense why I was so sad. Some days I crowned myself savior because my pain had to serve a greater good. My pain had to mean something or else it wasn’t fair. Then one day, I stumbled on the word ‘Depression,’ and I knew I had found a name for my pain. Every time pain would leave, I would feel like a bomb on the verge of exploding. So much energy that the bottom of my spine hard this itch begging me to break into dance or just be crazy. That’s how I came up with the term ‘Calm Wildness.’ I was raised to be prim and proper, so I stay that way, but sometimes I am still yet violent like a volcano. In me are fires and winds that I don’t know how to calm. They call it ‘mania.’ Years later, I got diagnosed with bipolar 2 disorder, and everything made sense. I am a walking paradox trying to figure out life in a typical world.
Calm Wildness hopes to be a safe space for everyone trying to figure out their wildness. We hope to create a space for all things mental health disorders and issues. We choose to believe that there is more to us than our diagnosis.
Contact us to share your stories or any resources that could help people dealing with mental health disorders and issues.